What If My Kids Won't Smile Or Behave for Family Photos?
Kids Who Wont Smile or Cooperate During Family Photos
Slaying those "What-Ifs" Ear Worms, One Momma At A Time
Let's start with the question I know runs through EVERY momma's head before deciding to look at booking family photos, for her momma heart:
What if my kids won't smile?
What if my toddler is wild?
What if my shy kid won't talk to the photographer?
What if my teenager looks completely unimpressed by the entire experience?
What if everyone else she has ever worked with has managed to have a beautiful family photo session and my children decide that that is the EXACT day they're going to forget how to be humans and go ape-wild?!!
Momma, take a breath. You don't have to make your kids smile for family photos.
That's my job.
After years of photographing real families, I've learned that the best family photographs usually don't happen because everyone was perfectly behaved. They happen because everyone got comfortable enough to forget there was a camera there.
And I can honestly tell you that in all my years photographing families, I've never had a momma walk away without a beautiful gallery of her real-life family.
What If My Kids Won't Smile for Family Photos?
Do Kids Really Have to Smile for Family Pictures?
Nope - Not every photograph needs a giant, camera-ready grin.
Some of my favorite family photographs are the ones where a child is laughing at something happening between Mom and Dad. Or they're looking at a flower. Or they're cuddled into Mom. Or they're running ahead. Or they're giving me the most spectacularly serious toddler face imaginable.
Those photographs tell me something about your family.
And that's what I'm actually trying to capture.
I want you to walk away at the end of everything know that your gallery feel like you. Who you are in this season of life and who your kiddos are too.
The way your daughter reaches for your hand. The way your son laughs when Dad tosses him in the air. The way your teenager rolls his eyes before eventually cracking a smile at the crazy woman (me) who is talking like that annoying valley girl at school who makes them laugh inside.
Yes, I'll absolutely work to get those beautiful portraits where everyone is looking toward the camera. But I don't want you stressed that we're going to spend your entire session chasing a perfect smile. That's what those annual school photos are for - THIS SESSION TOGETHER is for memories. Connection. Relationships. An evening with NO SCREENS and everyone leaning in together at the same time, in the same place.
We're going to make photographs that are beautiful because they're real.
You Don't Have to Make Your Kids Behave for Photos
Mom's Job Is Simply to Show Up and Breathe
One of the biggest things I want Mom to know before a family photography session is this:
Once you arrive and we get together - you get to stop managing everyone. You get to just be. Be the one holding their hand. Be the one behind me helping to crack a smile. Be the one who gets to cuddle and whisper in their ear.
You don't have to spend the car ride reminding your kids to smile. You don't need to threaten anyone with going to bed early. Or make sure someone's outfit is fitting correctly as they sit down. I've got you!
You don't need to arrive already exhausted because you've spent the previous hour trying to make sure everyone is going to behave perfectly.
Just show up. I can do the rest.
Let me take the lead. You already have enough jobs already - and you've already done the hard part by the time we meet in the parking lot. You got everyone here - safe. So take a bow!
My job is to help everyone figure out where they need to be, help the kids feel comfortable and create a gallery you'll actually love.
And if something isn't working?
We adjust. It really is that simple.
That's part of photographing real people....
We Start Getting to Know Your Kids Before the Session
Learning What Makes Your Child Feel Comfortable
One of the ways I prepare for a family photography session actually happens before you ever arrive.
During the planning process, I ask Mom to tell me a little about each kiddo.
What are they into? What's their personality like? Is someone shy? Are you expecting Daddy to be grumpy? Is someone going to run the second their feet hit the ground?
This information matters, so so much!
Because when you tell me that your daughter loves horses, your son is obsessed with soccer or your toddler is currently fascinated by bugs, you've just handed me a doorway into their world. And I can use that to help build their comfort and trust in working with me -- this adult they don't know who has a camera in her hands.
Instead of walking up to a child they've never met and immediately saying, “Okay! Look at the camera and smile!” I can start talking to them about something they already care about.
Sometimes a little bit of genuine attention goes a surprisingly long way.
Play Is One of My Favorite Family Photography Tools
Using Games to Keep Kids Engaged<
Kids aren't designed to stand still and smile on command for twenty minutes. Girl don't get me started on this... that's one of the reasons why we home school.
So I don't ask them to.
We play. Engage. Explore.
Sometimes that's something as simple as wiggle time or dancing. Sometimes it's red light, green light. Sometimes I need a really important helper who has a very serious photography job to do (like making sure Daddy DOES NOT fart.)
Sometimes we run. Sometimes we play eye-spy. Or see who can make Mom laugh or knock dad over with the world's biggest hug.
These little games aren't random distractions. They're ways to help kids stay engaged while we create the photographs we're there for.
And honestly, some of the best expressions happen when kids are having fun instead of being asked to perform.
A child who is laughing because we just played a silly game gives me something completely different than a child who was told to smile for the camera.
Both can be beautiful.
But one usually feels a whole lot more like them.
What If Your Child Is Shy, Grumpy or Just Not Interested?
Following Their Personality Instead of Fighting It
This is where that pre-session information becomes especially helpful.
Not every child walks into a family photography session ready to become best friends with a stranger holding a camera. And that's okay.
If your child is shy, I don't need to immediately pull them away from you and ask them to pose for a portrait by themselves.
In fact, some of our first photographs together may be the entire family.
Being surrounded by the people they already trust gives shy kids a little safety while they figure out who I am and what we're doing.
Then we work from there.
Maybe they want to stay close to Mom. Done!
Maybe they want to hold Dad's hand. Let's do it!
Maybe they want to explore the flowers. Hello - yes, please!
Maybe they need a few minutes before they're ready to interact with me.
We can work with all of that.
I've had a shy middle child whose mom worried that her quieter personality wouldn't have a chance to shine during their family session. Instead of forcing her into the spotlight, we took our time building that comfort through connection and play.
Now, I get to see them every year and it's amazing to watch as everyone is growing up! (Not to mention they are now expecting a new set of twins too!)
The answer is never to force them to smile.
The answer was to find something they actually cared about.
For one particularly quiet twelve-year-old, that something was soccer.
His mom had told me beforehand that he was reserved, so I went in knowing I needed to earn his trust. Once we started talking about soccer and football, the conversation changed everything. He was suddenly the expert, I was interested in what he had to say, and before long the camera became much less important.
He and his mom started laughing together, and that's when the photographs really started to happen.
Sometimes the fastest way to get a child to forget about the camera is to stop talking about the camera.
Snacks, Rewards and a Little Negotiation Are Allowed
Why Sometimes a Goldfish or Fruit Chews the Perfect Photography Tool
Let's talk about snacks.
For toddlers and little ones, a snack can go a very long way toward helping them slow down long enough for a particular photograph.
You might call it a bribe.
I call it a practical, instant rewards. 😂
We're all adults here. We know what we're doing.
If a few Goldfish crackers help us get through the family portrait Mom has been dreaming about, I'm not going to judge.
And older kids can sometimes respond to a different kind of reward.
Maybe there's an ice cream stop waiting after the session. Maybe dinner out is the prize for surviving family photos.
Whatever works.
We're not trying to manipulate a child into becoming a completely different person. We're simply giving them something positive to look forward to while we work together.
And if a snack gets us five minutes of cooperation from a busy toddler who has decided the grass is the most fascinating thing they've ever seen?
I'll take it. And then you BETTER BELEIVE we are going to play in the grass, lay in the grass, snuggle in the grass as a family and do all the grassy-grass things I can think of to build a beautiful gallery for Mom! lol.
What If My Child Still Won't Smile?
Turning Movement and Real Moments Into Beautiful Photographs
Here's the secret: they don't have to. Not for the full session length. Not even for half... because when we have REAL fun together, being a REAL family, smiles come naturally. Even if you're a teenager who only smiles for 3 seconds at a time. That's why God build fast camera shutter speeds, lol.
If your child(ren) is especially energetic, we'll use that energy.
We can walk.
We can explore.
We can chase bugs.
We can look at flowers and leaves.
We can investigate a creek bed together.
Mom can snuggle them while we look for our favorite color.
Dad can toss them in the air and let them be an airplane.
We can turn the things your child naturally wants to do into part of the session.
And those photographs are often some of my favorites.
Because your family isn't actually standing still in a perfectly coordinated line for most of your life.
You're living... you're moving. You're laughing.
You're picking up snacks off the floor.
You're buckling kids into car seats with yesterday's Goldfish still hiding underneath them.
You're hauling enough sporting good around in your trunk to qualify as a Academy store.
You're trying to keep everyone on schedule while secretly wishing you could freeze time for about five minutes.
That's the family I want to photograph.
Your Family Doesn't Have to Look Perfect in Every Photograph
Why Real Family Connection Matters More Than Perfect Smiles
I love beautiful portraits.
I want you to have photographs where everyone is looking at the camera and Mom gets the one she's going to print large enough for the living room wall.
But I also want you to have the photographs that make you remember what this season actually felt like.
The laughing.
The snuggles. The ridiculous faces.
The way your toddler wouldn't stop moving.
The way your teenager finally cracked a smile after pretending they weren't having fun.
The way your spouse looked at you while you were laughing with the kids and tries to sneak in a little booty grab from you along the way.
Those things matter.
Because years from now, you may not remember whether everyone smiled perfectly in every photograph.
You'll remember them. Their little personalities. Their favorite things. The way they fit into your arms.
The way your family looked before another year went by and everyone grew a little bit more.
That's why I love working with real people. Real families.
The messy, sticky, wonderfully lovable, slightly feral families who want to live life for all it's worth.
If your trunk looks like a sporting-goods store because you're constantly driving from one practice to another, I get it.
If there are Goldfish stuck in the car seats and you're beginning to wonder whether you'll ever have a completely clean vehicle again, I get it.
If life feels chaotic but somewhere underneath all that chaos you're longing to slow down for just a few minutes and capture the connection between you, your spouse and your kids, I get it.
That's exactly who I want in front of my camera.
You Just Need to Show Up
Let Your Family Be Yours and Let Me Take the Lead
So if you've been putting off family photos because you're worried your kids won't smile, won't sit still, won't cooperate or won't act the way you think they should during a photography session, I want you to know something.
You don't need perfect kids for beautiful family photographs.
You don't even need particularly cooperative kids.
You just need to show up.
I'll ask you a few questions beforehand so I know who I'm meeting. I'll learn what your kids love, where their personalities are and whether there's anything I should know before we begin.
Then we'll take our time getting comfortable.
We'll play. We'll talk. We'll explore. We'll get the portraits.
We'll chase the candid moments.
And if your kiddo needs a snack, a little wiggle time, a soccer conversation, a Momma snuggle or a ridiculous game to get there?
We'll do that, too.
Because I don't want you to leave your family photography session thinking, “Wow, my kids actually behaved.”
I want you to leave thinking, “That was so fun and TOTALLY felt like us.”
And when you get your gallery back, I want you to see your real family staring back at you—the people you love, exactly as they are in this season of life.
That's the good stuff.
If you're ready to stop worrying about whether your kids will cooperate and start planning a family session that feels relaxed, playful and genuinely like your family...
You can also explore more family photography and mini session options tips, tricks and real life family sessions here.
Hey You... Let's Be Friends, K?!
Central Indiana Newborn & Family Photographer
New around here? Hey, I’m Chelsea! A coffee-fueled Westfield native, raising a slightly wild kiddo just north of the Hamilton County line and capturing the most beautifully real memories for Central Indiana families.
Here at Hashtag Memories, I specialize in storytelling photography — from belly bumps and newborn snuggles to golden-hour giggles in open fields with families of every shape and size.
These aren’t just photos. They’re your memories, held in time.
Whether you’re dreaming of a relaxed in-home newborn session or a family session under Indiana’s wide-open sky —✨ I’m here to help you hold the space.
For laughter. For connection. For the SEASON of life you’re living right now.
If grandma’s recipes make your heart swell, You dream of wildflowers and homegrown veggies, and crave slow, intentional living (even in the chaos)...girl — you are MY KIND of people.
Let’s life together, for those big joys and the little moments alike!
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Searching for a family, newborn or maternity photographer in Noblesville, Fishers or Carmel, Westfield or anywhere in Central Indiana? From in-studio and in-home newborn sessions to sunset family galleries — I’m your girl. Let’s chat.
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